‘Renewing old ties’
Part 3 Operation Tea and Biscuits
Mission Report by Thar Nomis, Ranger of the Elvenblood
River, Herald to the Temple of Tymora, and Dashing Young Bard
about Town.
The Mission Report:
We have a plan… well two actually. The problem is, the rest
of the party and I have no real clear idea how to carry them out.
"Operation Tea and Biscuits" the changing of the existing
ruler of High Haspur a (raving greedy lunatic) and replacing him
with Lord Penrith Cliffjapper, who has pledged support and much
need aid to Sarbreenar once he is in power. The plan sounds good
in principal but how to go about getting the two Gnome Lords signatures
in the ancient magical Tome we are now carrying?
Seeking out, the culprits who are behind the kidnapping of Gnomes
from around High Haspur; rescuing the victims and returning them
to the city, in the hope that this action will ingratiate the
populace to us, and force the present High Lord Fankolin Morninglight
to give in to are pleas of aid, is our second plan. But again
where do we start?
The City’s Guard had been searching for months, with no
success. They haven’t got a single idea or clue as to who
was behind the kidnapping. I did hold on to a grain of hope with
our own planned investigation however. The redoubtable skills
of the Rangers of the Elvenblood River and our supreme talents
for tracking and wilderness lore had as yet not been on the case,
so to speak. If it was at all possible for someone to find any
clue in the territory around the city, we would find it...
After our first day of high and lows in High Haspur we decided
to pursue our own investigation into the Gnome disappearances.
It was late afternoon, and we headed into the wilderness using
every ounce of skill and talent within our diverse party, to try
and find any trace of the kidnappers. At night Geroff disguise
himself as a Gnome and set up camp, whilst the rest off us got
what little rest we could whilst hidden just outside and around
the camp site. We would remained watchful during the night and
raise the alarm should the Kidnappers take the bait and try and
capture Geroff. Having found no trace at all, not a bloody thing
out of the ordinary in the areas around the city, capturing the
kidnappers in the act seemed our best chance at success in solving
the mystery.
Awakened by Jerome in the morning after a surprisingly restful
sleep, we could still see and hear Geroff snoring away in his
camp sight. If his fire in the night hadn’t been seen by
any potential kidnappers, his snoring would have given his position
away for miles around. He had assured me he was quite capable
of applying his own disguise so I hadn’t checked it. But
may be his disguise had not been good enough. I vowed to check
it my self before we laid the same trap tonight. With my assistance,
I had no doubt we could create a faultless disguise that should
his own mother see him, she wouldn’t recognise even the vaguest
vestiges of his true features.
Later
in the mission Seren told me that she had thought Geroff looked
a little odd in his disguise that first night. She had been closest
to Geroff camp and had had the best view, but had not said anything
for fear of giving her hidden position away. She described my
brother Rangers appearance as looking like a scruffy hobbit wearing
too much makeup, with a carrot stuck over his nose. No wonder
the kidnappers didn’t take the bait that first night.
We returned to the city gaining entry without any problems, and
thankfully, no more riddles. One thing gnomes are good at, is
keeping record books up to date, showing all debts paid or overdue.
Our payment yesterday allowed us to enter or leave the city at
will for the foreseeable future.
We rented a room at the Elf in Armour for Jerome, where he could
rest up the day after his long watch the night before and be ready
for another tonight. Originally we had agreed to take turns in
watches during the night, but somewhere along the line there had
been a lack of communication. The rest of us were expecting to
be awoken for our watch in turn, but Jerome never woke anyone
after his first watch, as he thought we were all keeping watch
through the night. But as this arrangement had allowed the rest
of us to all get some much needed sleep and refreshed for another
day of ‘Operation Tea and Biscuits", we decided to use
the same routine again that night.
Anyway, I thought it prudent to keep Jerome off the streets,
as there seemed a few too many Zhents wondering around in the
city, and temptation might just have got the better of him.
We gained directions to Lord Janirabbit’s residence from
the locals and made our way, without a Herald this time, to seek
an audience. As part of our mission was now to now usurp the existing
ruler of High Haspur, we thought it wise not to advertise our
movements. We could always conjure a far better Trumpet fanfare
if needs be, and after watching the Gnome herald yesterday, I
was sure I had mastered enough Gnomish protocol to gain us an
audience.
Lord
Janirabbit’s residence was more like a very large inn, than
a palace. The atmosphere was friendly and quite merry (I took
to the place right away), but our hopes of meeting with the houses
Lord were dashed when we were informed that he was away on business,
and it was not known when he would be back. We asked if we could
get an urgent message to him, but no one even seemed to know where
he had gone and when he would be back.
I should have known something like this would happen. We were
stumped at the very first hurdle. On a lighter note, Hamlin and
I were recognised by a few of the gnomes from our performances
in the Elfin Armour the day before, and they insisted with flattering
pleas, that we give them all another performance. Hamlin declined
the offer, telling me he and Seren would try and wheedle out any
more information they could as to the whereabouts of Lord Janirabbits.
After speaking with a number of patrons, they had a sneaking suspicion
that the story of the Lords absence just didn’t quite ring
true.
So purely in the interest of good will and future friendly relations,
I took to the stage. Sensing the atmosphere of the place, I gave
a light-hearted and colourful performance of ode and verse that
had the audience crying with laughter and calling for more. But
Hamlin and Seren were giving me a signal that we should leave,
so I had to decline, much to their disappointment.
As the three of us exited the Inn, I had a nagging worry at the
absence of Zuke and Geroff. Hamlin told me that while he and Seren
were fishing for information, my two fellow Rangers had headed
off to seek an audience with Lord Snorem-Niggleson on there own.
Alarm bells began to ring loudly in my head, and I couldn’t
help but utter a few choice words, for which I immediately apologised
to Seren.
Cornering the nearest passing gnome, I managed to get directions
to the Gnome Wizard’s Tower. I must have been a little short
with the poor fellow in my angst, as he ran off with all possible
speed once he had finished stammering the directions. But though
I love my brother Rangers dearly, the two of them together without
a level headed presence to keep them in check, was a natural disaster
just waiting to happen.
As we hastily made our way To Snorem’s Tower, Seren and
Hamlin told me what they had managed to find out from the gnomes
in the Inn after further questioning. Hamlin was full of praise
for Seren’s beguiling charms, which seemed to have loosened
the tongue of everyone they had talked too.
It seems that Lord Janirabbit was not away on business at all,
but was in hiding in the city. The Gnome Lord was not, it seems,
a very brave soul to put it politely, and with the kidnapping
of so many fellow Gnomes, he was terrified that he might be next.
No one had any idea were he was, except that they were certain
he would never have left the safety of the city. We would just
have to find him. But that could wait for now, I had to track
down Zuke and Geroff before they did something rash.
Lord Snorem-Nigglesons Tower was an imposing building, over twenty
stories tall and surrounded by a moat and bridge. Much to my relief
I quickly spotted Zuke and Geroff in the vicinity. Geroff seemed
to be arguing with a roughish looking gnome (he was on familiar
territory there then). But what caused me to halt in my tracks,
was that Zuke appeared to be arguing as well … and I could
hardly believe my eyes… arguing with a very, very! Large!
Dragon! tethered by a huge chain to the Tower wall.
We approach Geroff first to hear him demanding some gold back
that they had he and Zuke had given the gnome for some service.
I left Seren and Hamlin to calm Geroff down, and cautiously crossed
the Towers Bridge to Zuke, readying my self for anything.
They both ignored me…. I politely cleared my throat to get
Zuke’s attention, and not disturb the Dragon too much. I
could not understand the bellowing noises they were using to speak
to one another, but at least with closer inspection they seemed
to be simply chatting quite amicably, and my initial worry that
they were arguing had been a mistake. Zuke did have a very puzzled
look on his face however, so I waited until they had finished
speaking, and then asked my brother if he might spare me a moment,
and join me and the rest of the party on the other side of the
bridge…. Away from the Dragon!
He followed me in his usual nonchalant manner as if chatting
to a Dragon was the normal thing to do, and we rejoined the others.
I now asked the Rangers what the hell was going on, and what they
had been up to since they left the Janirabbits Inn.
They explained they had headed out to speak to Lord Snorem concerning
a worry the two of them had about Lord Cliffjappers becoming the
new ruler of High Haspur. They were concerned that Lord Snorem
might have been coerced by Lord Cliffjapper into signing the Gnome
Ancient Tome of rulership, by having his son kidnapped, using
the other gnome disappearances as a smoke screen. I was a little
dubious at first with their reasoning, but the more I thought
about it, the more I could see their point. Replacing an idiot
ruler with a military junta who would kidnap its own citizens
to gain power, was not the kind of allies Sarbreenar wanted. Once
in power, if my brother Rangers fears were well founded, Lord
Cliffjapper was more than likely to break his promise of sending
reinforcements. If it was true, he had more in common with the
Zhents than the freedom loving people of Sarbreenar.
This could be a major disaster, and completely destroy all our
plans….
Thankfully, following there own investigations and after speaking
with Lord Snorem, they had bother finally come to full agreement
with my initial assessment of the true motives behind Lord Cliffjappers
wish to rule High Haspur. Nearly all gnomes, (other than those
of the House of Morninglight,) including Lord Snorem-Niggleson
wished for a change of rulership. They too had become uneasy with
the increasing influence of Zhent forces, trade and Gold, within
High Haspur and its surrounding territories. Most saw it as only
a matter of time should Sarbreenar fall, that the Zhentarim Empire
would look for other territories to conquer, and High Haspur with
all its resources and wealth would be an irresistible target.
Lord Snorem believed Lord Cliffjapper to be an honourable gnome
who held the same ideals close to his heart, and only wished the
best for his people. He had stated that if the Gnome lord had
promised us aid in the fight against the Zhentarim should he gain
power, then we should be in no doubt that he would keep his word.
As to the kidnapping of his son, he had tried and exhausted every
magical avenue open to him in attempting to locate him. But his
scrying attempts had been in vain.
The word scrying to track down his son instantly gave me and
idea. The gnome Mage might be unable to track down his son if
he was being detained and his location magically shielded, but
how about finding Lord Janirabbit for us.
We head back across the bridge to seek another audience with
the Lord Snorem. As we crossed and came closer to the Dragon once
more I asked Zuke if the Dragon was any danger too us. A look
of exasperation crossed his face. He explains that the Dragon
was in the employ of Lord Snorem and remained chained next to
the Tower of his own free will. Zuke continued, saying that when
he had first approached the Dragon he had intended to free him
from his chains. He didn’t register the look of shock on
our faces at hearing these words. As far as he was concerned he
would have been simply freeing a wild creature from captivity.
He hadn’t given a second thought to the consequence of us
being blamed for freeing a rampaging Dragon bent on revenged against
his past captors, and what effect it would have had to our mission.
But the Dragon told him he was quite happy with the arrangement,
but thanked him for the thought.
I gave a silent prayer of thanks to Tymora for this diverted
disaster, and then held my breath after asking Geroff what he
and the gnome had been arguing about.
He simple stated that the gnome had conned him and Zuke out of
some gold, and that he had been trying to get it back. But press
him as best I could, he would say no more than it. I think he
was a little embarrassed about the whole thing. I couldn’t
help myself, exclaiming, "You! Someone fleeced money from
you. Why this is priceless old boy, I would never have believed
it." I ended my merry outburst with a little leg pulling
on my fellow Ranger, "I must seek out this ruffian and buy
him a drink. He must be a most gifted fellow, don’t you know."
Geroff’s reply to my merriment at his expense is swift,
and very pointed. Taking out a small money pouch secreted in his
vest, he empties its contents onto his palm and begins to dived
it into two piles. Then he retorts, "That would be most kind
hearted of you Thar, for I think when that gnome reaches for his
own pouch to pay for a drink, he might find it missing."
Geroff turns to Zuke and hands him the smaller of the two piles
of gold coins he has divided, saying, "Here you go Zuke,
there’s your gold piece back and ten more for expenses."
Looking around at the rest of us, he asks in a very straight
faced pose, "Well shall we get going then, its getting near
to lunch time and I’m feeling a little peckish. Lunch is
on me, I seem to have acquired an unexplainable surplus of ready
cash." His facade cracks and the biggest cheeky grin I have
ever seen him show lights up his face.
"Unless you want to pay Thar. But if you do, you had best
had have this back," he reaches back into his vest and pulls
out anther money pouch, this one very familiar to my eyes. I instinctively
pat my vest pocket where I normally keep my money pouch….
It’s empty!
Grinning from ear to ear Geroff tosses me back my own money pouch,
finally saying, "You must try and stop dropping it Thar.
If it wasn’t for me you would have lost it along time ago".
It was just too much for us all; we found ourselves roaring with
laughter at his antics, and I just manage to utter, "Too-shay
old boy, Too-shay old boy."
Through fits of giggles and returning laughter, we just manage
to persuade the guards to let us enter the Tower, and send someone
to ask their Lord if he would grant us all another audience. The
guard captain was clearly using his distinctly long and pointed
nose to ascertain if we had been drinking.
The audience was granted, and Lord Snorem agreed to our request.
Geroff was dispatched back to the Janirabbits Inn to …err…
borrow some personal possession of Lord Janirabbits that Snorem
needed for his scrying. We did ask Geroff if he would need are
help, but he just looked at us as if we had all taken leave of
our senses and quickly left, saying he would be back shortly.
Once Geroff had left I suggested that I would wait here for his
return and that Seren, Zuke and Hamlin could try and contact Lord
Nackles and discuss the subject tactfully, about his feelings
of signing the Tome to hand ruler ship over to Lord Cliffjapper.
At this point Zuke so kindly informed Seren, Hamlin and I that
hadn’t he and Geroff told us they had all ready seen them
before the saw Lord Snorem.
"Them?" I asked, "What do you mean ‘Them’?"
One moment your up, the next you find the house of cards crashing
down around you. It seems there was not one High Lord of the Nackles,
but three! Three brothers, triplets, who had readily agreed to
sign the book on one condition. I waited, resigned to the next
monumental task that we would have to attempt, that Zuke was now
going to divulge to us all.
Zuke told us that the brothers greatest wish, was that they wanted
to fall in love at first sight. Should we help them succeed in
this endeavour, they would sign the book the moment cupid’s
arrow struck them.
At first I thought Zuke was joking, but he I should have known
better. Lord Snorem also confirmed the brothers wishes, saying
it was common knowledge through out the city. It was believed
that they had already approached every maiden gnome in the city,
searching for their true love. Fantastic, just bloody marvellous.
I could hear the gods and goddesses chuckling away in the heavens
above at this very moment.
My mind raced trawling for ideas to solve this new dilemma. So
no gnome within the city had caused them to swoon with passions
embrace, and we had no time to go searching abroad for any others.
Inspiration came to me once more, ‘Love potions.’ Get
Geroff to slip a love potion into their drinks and simple parade
three willing Gnome maidens who would be eager to marry a Lord
in front of them.
I discussed this idea with the others. Seren thought it was a
morally questionable idea, but we all finally agreed that though
slightly dodgy on ethical ground, all parties would be getting
what they wanted. The Nackle Lords their wish, the gnome maidens
a noble husband, and us the Lords’ signatures.
There was however one slight problem. Snorem informed us there
were no Love potions anywhere in the city. There had been a back
order for the base ingredients for months. The alchemists had
only been petitioning Lord Morninglight last week, and Snorem
found it hard to believe that we heard not about it. It was a
scandal he said. Why Valentine’s Day was only a few weeks
away, and love potions were out of stock with no means to create
more. Never had such a disaster happened before.
But of cause. It goes without saying that ‘such a disaster’
would just happen now. What else should I have expected. We desperately
needed three love potions to help our plans, but for the first
time ever in the history of High Haspur, the Well of Love was
dry. What was next?!
We hatch other plans one after the other, each one more harebrained
than the next, and each one doomed to failure from the start.
Eventually Geroff returns holding his prize, a silver tankard
inscribed, ‘To Lord Janirabbit, runner up of the 23rd
Donkey stacking championships.’ I raise a questioning eyebrow
when Zuke and Geroff start chuckling to themselves.
Zuke looks at me and smiles, "Don’t worry about it
Thar, I’ll tell you about it another time." I accept
his explanation with a shrug. We hand over the Tankard to Snorem,
and he begins to consults his books of wizardry. "Would have
been easier if you had found something a bit more personal,"
he complains, "but I think it should work. Will just take
a little longer is all."
So we continue our discussions on how best to get the Nackles
to sign the Tome. The one idea I loved best, was disguising Geroff
as a gnome again, this time a female one, and Hamlin and I could
attempting to charm them into falling in love with him. This gave
us all a good laugh, though Geroff found it less amusing, and
we all kept a tight hold on our money pouches for awhile. But
this idea no matter how amusing, had very little chance of working.
We would just have to think about it some more; I was sure we
would come up with a workable idea soon. Well, one could hope,
couldn’t one.
Meanwhile, once Snorem had found Lord Janirabbit, we would track
him down, and show him in no uncertain terms, that it would be
in his best interest to sign the Ancient Tome. Finally Lord Snorem
told us the scrying had worked, and he had located Lord Janirabbits
hiding place. He was hiding in disguise in the cities barracks.
Giving us a signed warrant to enter the Barracks, we headed with
all possible speed to flighty gnome’s hiding place before
he moved somewhere else. We found the cowering Lord with ease,
holed up in one of the barrack room dormitories. With only a polite
request on our part, he completely agreed with us all that it
was in the cities and more importantly his own best interest to
sign the book, and did so immediately. At last we were making
some progress. One down, one or three more depending on how you
wanted to look at it, to go.
By now it was late afternoon, so we returned to rouse Jerome,
eat a hearty meal, then proceeded outside the city once more to
find another likely camp sight a few hours into the vast, to lay
our trap once more. This time, I assisted Geroff with his disguise,
and by the time I had finished, we had standing before us, a well
dressed gnome traveller to High Haspur who was making the best
of a last night’s unconcerned sleep under the stars, before
entering the city in the morning.
The night passed woefully uneventfully and quietly. We made our
way a little dejectedly back to High Haspur at first light; still
without a real plan on how to meet the Nackle brothers challenge.
This time when we tried to re-enter the city, we were told by
the captain of the watch that Lord Cliffjapper urgently requested
our presence at his Palace immediately. Jerome it seemed would
have to wait a while longer for his bed.
We quickly made our way to the Gnome Lord’s fort, all giving
Geroff an accusing look, out of habit. His only reply to our stares
being a bleating plea of "I didn’t do anything, honest!"
I was inclined to believe him this time, that or I was beginning
to get beyond caring any more. ‘What Now!’
We were shown into the study of Lord Penrith once more, to find
him in the company of another Gnome, a fellow of rather imposing
charisma and militaristic stance. Introductions were made all
round. His name was Rusty Double Hammer, a Cleric of high standing
in the Church of Gaerdal Ironhand, the Shield of the Golden Hills.
His explanation as to why he is here was told with such passion
and fever, we are utterly spell bound in its rendition. In fact,
I would go so far to say, I couldn’t have told it better
my self. He is from the Dragon Coast, and had been sent to High
Haspur in search of one of their Princesses, who had went missing
over two weeks ago whilst travelling to High Haspur on personal
business. I could tell by the way he said ‘personal business’
that I would be wasting my time asking him what that was. But
what really got our attention was the Princesses unequivocal description.
She was said to be the flower of all gnomish maidenhood. A beauty
of unsurpassed perfection the like of which had supposedly never
before been seen. It was said that all gnomes who saw her instantly
fell in love with her at first light. Her father was desperate
to find her, and ensure her safety. He would grant anything within
his power to those who could do so.
My head began to spin with it all, and I had to steady my self
against Lord Cliffjapper’s bookcase. It all began to make
sense in some bewildering way. The kidnappings; Lord Morninglight’s
unwillingness to aid Sarbreenar; Lord Cliffjapper’s offer
of aid should we help him gain power; the task set us to gain
the last signatures for the transfer of power; even the unheard
of occurrence of a major city were not even one single Love potion
to be found within its walls. Now the answer, (and I had no doubt
at all that it was the answer) to our plans presents itself. I
was absolutely certain that there must have been similar coincidences
in many other things that we had seen and heard, or been cornered
into doing by supposed chance, but which I for the moment I couldn’t
piece together.
‘A Princess of such beauty’ that all gnomes who saw
her fall at her feet in adoration. If ever the hands of the gods
and goddesses played a part in the affairs of us mortals, this
had to be one of them. Whilst thinking this, I could have sworn
the imposing figure of Rusty Double Hammer looked right at me,
before continuing with his request for help.
The Dragon Coast Mages had been unable to pin point the princesses
exact location, it was being shielded by magics which dispersed
all scrying spells by hiding the true location amongst a possible
seven others. Scouting teams at this very moment were being organised
to investigate these eight sights. The cleric was asking for our
help to be one of these scouting forces, as we had been highly
recommended to him by Lord Cliffjapper as a discreet and resourceful
band of noble souls, who would willingly accept such an assignment.
Should we do so, the Church of Gaerdal Ironhand pledged their
support to Sarbreenar’s cause. Should we accept and find
the princess and return her alive to High Haspur, Rusty assured
us all we would be amazed at what his church could muster in time
to help in the defence of Sarbreenar. Without hesitation, we all
agreed. Asked if we had any preference as to which site we wished
to investigate, I chose one at random. I had no doubt it would
be the right one.
I looked down to see were my finger rested on the list, ‘The
Clockwork Windmill’ was its only description, some two days
ride south of High Haspur. Here I knew we would find the Princess
who would gain for us the aid we had been sent to find. I was
also certain about the danger we would face in freeing her from
her captors.
I looked around at my fellow party members, "Well boys and
girls, what say we hire a cart and fill it with sacks of wheat.
Jerome can get some padded rest on the journey down there, and
we can use the Windmill to grind the wheat into flour for free;
we could make a nice little profit when we get back to the city
don’t you know."
Everyone looks at me as if I have gone mad, except the cleric,
Rusty Double Hammer. He just smiles and says, "I am a good
judge of character Count Nomis, and I have no doubt you would
attempt to rescue the princess for no other reason than it is
simply the right thing to do."
I roll my eyes in mock exasperation, "Why Rusty old boy,
you really can be a bit of a party pooper don’t you know."
With that the rest of my party realise their being ribbed once
more by my ready wit and make various proposals on how best to
use me as a pack animal to pull the cart. Some of which I am quite
sure are physically impossible, even with magic.
Thar
Nomis, Ranger of the Elvenblood River, Herald to
the Temple of Tymora, and Dashing Young Bard about Town.
