Zhentarim Arch-Lord Compromising Pictures! Truth
of Black Network Revealed!
A brave traveling reporter from the Associated Wizard has captured
this exclusive footage of the Great Lord Manshoon, arch mage of
darkness, Creator of the Black Network of the Zhentarim himself
showing just how he deals with intruders.
And how is that you wonder? He misses of course! As this groundbreaking
picture shows he has unleashed a mighty thaumaturgical onslaught
and failed entirely to hurt anyone at all. One chap jumps out
of the way; another conjures back his limp-wristed blast with
what appears to be a pair of chopsticks and the man in the back
doesn’t even bother dodging. Big bad Manshoon just misses
him altogether.
The truth gets worse when you look at what those evil creatures
our heroes are fighting back are. Yes that’s right readers,
they’re Osyluths – those backward, forsaken Sunday League
Devils, blessed with the terrifying ability to summon Ice-cubes.
Yet our Heroes seem to having trouble fighting them! This means
that Lord Manshoon is unable to hit a party of intruders who cannot
take down the Cocktail Bartenders of Doom.
Returning to his palace in Zhentil Keep he was heard to protest
angrily ‘That was a tiny slip in my quickenedspell, they
were all slaughtered the next instant in coruscating agony, with
my REAL SPELL, their souls torn asunder by through the very gates
of hell. Truly! That accursed little bard just captured that one
moment and ran like the worm-food he was. ’ then adding ‘I
killed them all, I did, I really did!!!’
Yeah sure, Manshoon, and my dad can beat up Elminster.
Is this their almighty arch mage of legend and last line of defence?
We at the Sarbreenar Sentinel are certainly not going to be cowed
by a rather tasteless mask and some poorly aimed lightning. If
this is the best they can offer then any good Sarbreenarite need
never be afraid of this ‘mighty’ Black Network, and
its time to give them what for! what for!
(Disclaimer: The Sarbreenar Sentinel bears
no responsibility for any person who laughs at, shares, publicises
widely or even reads this article, and their potential destruction
by enraged arch mages of ultimate evil)
