Simple Simon’s Strolling Salmagundi*

IMPLE Simon’s Strolling Salmagundi wagon is a colourfully festooned cart (about 4' long and 2' wide) topped by a large umbrella decorated with a pattern of fish and ships and sea monsters. Accompanied by Skeebo, his pet spider monkey, Simple Simon wheels the cart about the city, crying out in a loud gravely voice, ‘Salmagundi! Hot Salmagundi! Fills yer innards! Keeps yer warm!’

* Salmagundi is a thick stew-like dish composed of chopped meats, fish, lots of onions, and a wide variety of spices. (Simple Simon’s ingredients vary with his mood.) The wagon always contains three deep iron pots of salmagundi; these pots are set into the top of the wagon, and the salmagundi is kept hot and steaming by coals placed in built-in fireboxes at the bottom of each pot. Simple Simon’s salmagundi comes in three varieties: Mild, Medium, and Sun’s Sweat (i.e. hot!). For a silver piece, a customer gets a hefty portion of the salmagundi of his choice, served up on a thick chunk of crusty bread. The bread is kept in a wooden box hung on one side of the wagon, and is cut up as needed.

To wash down the savoury salmagundi, Simple Simon offers three potables:

A mug of Simple Simon’s grog is about as potent as a tankard of rum, and is very popular with the more besotted among his customers. Each potable is kept in a large jug located on a rack below the wagon; tin cups are hung on pegs attached to the wagon’s rim. These cups must be returned to Simple Simon after they are used; they are then washed out in a pail of water also located on the rack.

Skeebo helps his master by performing antics for the crowd, taking money, and holding out cups for Simple Simon to fill from the large jugs.

Both Simple Simon and Skeebo are very popular with the city residents, particularly with children who are almost constantly following the wagon, parroting Simple Simon’s cry and laughing at Skeebo’s capering. Simple Simon always has a pocket full of candy that he distributes to these children.

Simon’s cart

Simple Simon’s whole operation consists solely of the cart (which has already been described). Monies collected go into a large multi-pocketed money pouch around Simple Simon’s waist, from which he also makes change. The cart is heavy and takes a bit of strength to wheel around.

Proprietor: Simple Simon Rood.

Simple Simon Rood is a large, gravel-voiced man with an elaborate waxed moustache (that he ‘twiddles’) and dark eyes. He looks to be in his late forties. He dresses in eye-blinding motley, a wide-brimmed hat with multi-coloured feathers, and knee-high boots. He always carries a cutlass.

'Skeebo.’ Spider monkey.

Skeebo is Simple Simon’s pet and constant companion. He usually sits atop Simple Simon’s shoulder. People say that any attack on Simple Simon would cause Skeebo to assault the attacker with all the strength in his tiny body, clawing and biting savagely. Likewise, anyone who harms Skeebo would quickly find himself transfixed by several inches of Simple Simon’s steel